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Mon, 28 May 2012 20:16:28 -0400

saywhiplash: Fandom logic.

Mon, 28 May 2012 20:15:38 -0400

saywhiplash:

Fandom logic.

Cheesecake filled strawberries.

Mon, 28 May 2012 20:15:30 -0400

Cheesecake filled strawberries.

yurbledoodleburg: quipquipquip: oh dear sweet baby jesus are...

Mon, 28 May 2012 17:05:47 -0400

yurbledoodleburg:

quipquipquip:

oh dear sweet baby jesus are those bats hugging

Why do I imagine Bruce just standing over them going NO. STOP THAT.

YOU’RE HERE FOR THE VENGEANCE AND THE ATMOSPHERE. NO HUGS. ONLY JUSTICE.

fdkjkldsjflds

kitty

bohemianrhapsodomy: madbiteysexywoman:

Mon, 28 May 2012 17:05:18 -0400

bohemianrhapsodomy:

madbiteysexywoman:

The following quotations are taken from official court records across the nation, showing how funny and embarrassing it is that recorders operate at all times in courts of law, so that even the slightest inadvertence is preserved for posterity.

Mon, 28 May 2012 16:52:55 -0400

Lawyer: "Was that the same nose you broke as a child?"
Witness: "I only have one, you know."
-----
Lawyer: "Now, Mrs. Johnson, how was your first marriage terminated?"
Witness: "By death."
Lawyer: "And by whose death was it terminated?"
-----
Accused, Defending His Own Case: "Did you get a good look at my face when I took your purse?"
The defendant was found guilty and sentenced to ten years in jail.
-----
Lawyer: "What is your date of birth?"
Witness: "July 15th."
Lawyer: "What year?"
Witness: "Every year."
-----
Lawyer: "What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?"
Witness: "Gucci sweats and Reeboks."
-----
Lawyer: "Can you describe what the person who attacked you looked like?"
Witness: "No. He was wearing a mask."
Lawyer: "What was he wearing under the mask?"
Witness: "Er...his face."
-----
Lawyer: "This myasthenia gravis -- does it affect your memory at all?"
Witness: "Yes."
Lawyer: "And in what ways does it affect your memory?"
Witness: "I forget."
Lawyer: "You forget. Can you give us an example of something that you've forgotten?"
-----
Lawyer: "How old is your son, the one living with you?"
Witness: "Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which."
Lawyer: "How long has he lived with you?"
Witness: "Forty-five years."
-----
Lawyer: "What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke that morning?"
Witness: "He said, 'Where am I, Cathy?'"
Lawyer: "And why did that upset you?"
Witness: "My name is Susan."
-----
Lawyer: "Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?"
Witness: "No."
Lawyer: "Did you check for blood pressure?"
Witness: "No."
Lawyer: "Did you check for breathing?"
Witness: "No."
Lawyer: "So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?"
Witness: "No."
Lawyer: "How can you be so sure, Doctor?"
Witness: "Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar."
Lawyer: "But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless?"
Witness: "Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere."
-----
Lawyer: "What happened then?"
Witness: "He told me, he says, 'I have to kill you because you can identify me.'"
Lawyer: "Did he kill you?"
Witness: "No."
-----
Lawyer: "Now sir, I'm sure you are an intelligent and honest man--"
Witness: "Thank you. If I weren't under oath, I'd return the compliment."
-----
Lawyer: "You were there until the time you left, is that true?"
-----
Lawyer: "So you were gone until you returned?"
-----
Lawyer: "The youngest son, the 20 year old, how old is he?"
-----
Lawyer: "Were you alone or by yourself?"
-----
Witness: "He was about medium height and had a beard."
Lawyer: "Was this a male or a female?"
-----
Lawyer: "I show you Exhibit 3 and ask you if you recognize that picture."
Witness: "That's me."
Lawyer: "Were you present when that picture was taken?"
-----
Lawyer: "Were you present in court this morning when you were sworn in?"
-----
Lawyer: "Do you know how far pregnant you are now?"
Witness: "I'll be three months on November 8."
Lawyer: "Apparently, then, the date of conception was August 8?"
Witness: "Yes."
Lawyer: "What were you doing at that time?"
-----
Lawyer: "She had three children, right?"
Witness: "Yes."
Lawyer: "How many were boys?"
Witness: "None."
Lawyer: "Were there girls?"
-----
Lawyer: "You say that the stairs went down to the basement?"
Witness: "Yes."
Lawyer: "And these stairs, did they go up also?"
-----
Lawyer: "What is your brother-in-law's name?"
Witness: "Borofkin."
Lawyer: "What's his first name?"
Witness: "I can't remember."
Lawyer: "He's been your brother-in-law for years, and you can't remember his first name?"
Witness: "No. I tell you, I'm too excited." (rising and pointing to his brother-in-law) "Nathan, for heaven's sake, tell them your first name!"
-----
Lawyer: "Did you ever stay all night with this man in New York?"
Witness: "I refuse to answer that question.
Lawyer: "Did you ever stay all night with this man in Chicago?"
Witness: "I refuse to answer that question.
Lawyer: "Did you ever stay all night with this man in Miami?"
Witness: "No."
-----
Lawyer: "Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?"
Witness: "All my autopsies have been performed on dead people."
-----
Lawyer: "Were you acquainted with the deceased?"
Witness: "Yes sir."
Lawyer: "Before or after he died?"
-----
Lawyer: "When he went, had you gone and had she, if she wanted to and were able, for the time being excluding all the restraints on her not to go, gone also, would he have brought you, meaning you and she, with him to the station?"
Other Lawyer: "Objection. That question should be taken out and shot."
-----
Lawyer: "And what did he do then?"
Witness: "He came home, and next morning he was dead."
Lawyer: "So when he woke up the next morning he was dead?"
-----
Lawyer: "Could you see him from where you were standing?"
Witness: "I could see his head."
Lawyer: "And where was his head?"
Witness: "Just above his shoulders."
-----
Lawyer: "Any suggestions as to what prevented this from being a murder trial instead of an attempted murder trial?"
Witness: "The victim lived."

vua: randomhector: I think my sink is...

Mon, 28 May 2012 16:51:08 -0400

vua:

randomhector:

I think my sink is clogged

AONSNSBSKABSLSBDKSBE

hyuuman: THOR: ODIN’S A+ PARENTING GUIDE #7 idea...

Mon, 28 May 2012 16:43:37 -0400

hyuuman:

THOR: ODIN’S A+ PARENTING GUIDE #7

idea from: shenannigans

murrehtrishoos: genuinelycornflakes: genuinelycornflakes: genuinelycornflakes: philsoncoulip: wh...

Mon, 28 May 2012 14:11:49 -0400

murrehtrishoos:

genuinelycornflakes:

genuinelycornflakes:

genuinelycornflakes:

philsoncoulip:

what was up with Andrew’s bowtie tonight.

it looks sad

is that a regular tie

that is a regular tie

tied up

as a bow tie

oh my god andrew

did you fucking wear a regular tie

and then get embarrassed when everyone else was wearing a bowtie

and try to fix it

Photo

Mon, 28 May 2012 14:11:19 -0400

forensicsandpathology: Young woman with elephantiasis, 1877 - ...

Mon, 28 May 2012 12:36:07 -0400

forensicsandpathology:

Young woman with elephantiasis, 1877 - At a time when infant mortality and childhood infectious diseases were far more common than today, this girl contracted diphtheria and scarlet fever at age 5. By age 17 she had developed elephantiasis documented here. The childhood sickness had infected her body’s lymphatic system and closed the lymph vessels at the top of her legs, causing the fats usually transported by that system to stay put, swell, and harden. Five days after this photograph was taken, the girl died of complications from the infection at New York’s Bellevue Hospital

buttgenie: waght the fucjdkg

Mon, 28 May 2012 12:33:26 -0400

buttgenie:

waght the fucjdkg

mutsunn: “We live together, I blog about it, and he forgets his...

Mon, 28 May 2012 12:29:47 -0400

mutsunn:

“We live together, I blog about it, and he forgets his pants.
I wouldn’t hold out too much hope.”

gremlingilgun: stark-spangled: youcanlokibutyoucannottouchy: m...

Mon, 28 May 2012 12:27:52 -0400

gremlingilgun:

stark-spangled:

youcanlokibutyoucannottouchy:

my-mewling-quim:

This is Tom Hiddleston. Beautiful, attractive, healthy, perfect man… right?

Wrong.

Tom Hiddleston has a problem.

In 2011, a movie was released in which Tom played the character Loki. Loki is a Norse god of mischief, and the main antagonist in Thor and the recently released film, The Avengers. He does an absolutely fantastic job in both movies, but there’s just one problem.

Tom has been unable to get out of character ever since.

Please reblog to bring awareness to this man. We may not be able to save him, but we can at least show him our support.

THIS WILL NOT MAKE YOUR BLOG UGLY.

In fact, it will make it the complete opposite because holy fuck are you kidding me look at this goddamn guy.

If you don’t reblog this, YOU HAVE NO HEART.

Seriously, this post just breaks my heart. That poor, poor man. C’mon guys. Let’s all reblog this. For Hiddles. God bless him.

GUYS IF YOU LOVE TOM, AND YOU JUST WANT HIM TO COME BACK TO HIS CONSCIOUS SELF..PLEASE..REBLOG THIS. THOMAS 2012 GUIZE.

ponderisms: So I was going through old papers and found a...

Mon, 28 May 2012 12:19:54 -0400

ponderisms:

So I was going through old papers and found a packet full of questions that my kindergarten teacher apparently asked us.

Kenny, if you’re somewhere reading this, teach us the secret of reaching enlightenment.

my life goal is to buy out an entire concert and then the artist will come on stage so dramatically...

Mon, 28 May 2012 12:18:47 -0400

my life goal is to buy out an entire concert and then the artist will come on stage so dramatically and it will just be me sitting there like

i-am-sherloki-d: ok guys i know you’re upset about benedict and all but can we please take a moment...

Mon, 28 May 2012 12:18:00 -0400

i-am-sherloki-d:

ok guys i know you’re upset about benedict and all but can we please take a moment to appreciate matt smith’s socks

　

velocipedestrienne: ipsadixit: it took me about 2.5 seconds to...

Mon, 28 May 2012 12:16:49 -0400

velocipedestrienne:

ipsadixit:

it took me about 2.5 seconds to fall in love with everything Sen. Johnson chooses to be.

This is my home state and I have never been more proud.

sherlockismysuicidenote: boys-from-baker-street: The...

Mon, 28 May 2012 12:15:42 -0400

sherlockismysuicidenote:

boys-from-baker-street:

The Sherlock Fandom

the accuracy of this post is rather frightening

Very frightening indeed…

Oh yes. Almost everyone’s mad here…

We are all mad here

sunshien: sly-nig: zigazig-ah: The Teletubbies...

Mon, 28 May 2012 12:14:28 -0400

sunshien:

sly-nig:

zigazig-ah:

The Teletubbies unmasked

EVERYTHING I HAD EVER EXPECTED OR HOPED FOR

THEY’RE FUCKING GIANTS OH MY GOD THAT’S TERRIFYING TO IMAGINE